Compelled to share some thoughts with you all. Brought about by some great conversations I’ve had with a brother in the faith here in Nicaragua, Tom, I’ve been pondering on what “it” is that makes life worth living and suffering worth enduring for me, on a personal level. I know that these it seems we have an endless supply of religions to choose from. There are prophets, sages, spiritual gurus, pastors, authors, and countless others that lay claim to some sort of “truth” that will supposedly bring us liberation, peace, and joy to our lives as we live out our days here on earth. I mean honestly, even in Christianity we can come across so many differing views on Bible interpretation, Jesus, and how this should play out in everyday living that it can seem almost impossible to fix ourselves on something that would unequivocally ring true in our spirits. And how do we, how do I know that what I am claiming to believe is truth, well . . . I could run off a list of theological arguments and persuasions that I believe adequately support my stance on it all, but in the end words are just words. It is when I am suffering am fallen that I truly begin to question God; who I believe He is and why I believe anything that I read in the Bible to be absolute at all. After all, if what I say I believe so whole-heartedly cannot save me from pain, loss, and willful sin, what good is it anyway? Cuz if its not truth, I am just bringing unfounded condemnation and shame upon myself that I need not bare. All this would be a complete waste of time.
What I need is a Savior who truly saves, not ideals. Ideals never saved anyone. Ideals never lifted anyone out of the miry pit of sin and evil. Eloquent moral principles never healed a broken marriage. Religious catch phrases and legalism never inspired a victim of a heinous crime to truly forgive and embrace the unrepentant guilty. This type of power only comes from something that is much deeper than some religious text or well-delivered sermon.
Jesus. Oh Jesus, my friend, my Lord, lover of my soul. There is none like you! Friends, even though this life is wrought with pain, unbelievable, life-altering pain, still there is Jesus. Oh praise God for Jesus! Jesus the man; Jesus our Lord and King. The same Jesus who lived a life filled with temptation and pain, yet overcame it all by his love for his Father and me. I’ll tell you plainly right now that I love the Bible, I love reading it and meditating on it, but if all that is in that book points to nothing more than ideals and moral principals, we’re all doomed; there is no hope for victory in this life over our trials and seemingly endless mistakes and shortcomings. I would rather die now and save myself the coming years of anguish and pain if all I have to hope in is my own strength and ability to grasp a theological perspective or some spiritual principal.
I am vile. I am lustful by nature. I am jealous, greedy, and slandering. To be truthful with you, if it weren’t for the person and saving work of Christ in me, I shudder to think at all the evil I would commit without remorse. Every single good thing I have ever done, do, or will do come from the only source of good that has ever existed since the beginning of time, Christ. And if this Christ doesn’t overtake the monster that is who I am in my flesh at the most real and personal level imaginable, I am lost. It happens so fast, but is so destructive that only the power of the Holy Spirit can detain it and change its course.
In this reality that is made all the more clear to me as the days roll by, I have never seen more clearly my need for Jesus Christ. I simply must have it, more than food, shelter, or relationship, I must have Christ! Sadly, desires ebb and flow, fade and intensify with time. Unfortunately, my relationship with Jesus is something I have a responsibility to nourish with intention and effort; God doesn’t just do all the work for us. This is one of the things I love most about Jesus, that He asks us to follow Him. We can go as deep into His love, peace, joy, and freedom from sin as we desire. There is no limit . . . I am my biggest obstacle.
I guess in sharing this I am hoping that in writing it down publicly the Holy Spirit will use it as He chooses. I take NO credit. As I mentioned, any “good” thing I do is only from Him who works in me. Friends, family, whoever may be reading this, look to Christ. Cry out to Him who is worthy! Pour out your souls at His feet! Let His Holy Spirit come and wash over you. He cleans, restores, and brings life to what is dead or maybe not dead, but barely breathing and clinging to life by a thread of hope. I don’t know where you may be in reading this, but I know no other answer for this life to give you, no hope to speak of outside of the Jesus. He is the answer, there is no other way by which we might be saved.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us . . . Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 5:8 . . . Romans 7:25)
